i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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