I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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