Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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