Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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