More tranny stories later!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
