my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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