I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
