There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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