it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
