I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need to align my fucking chakras
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