I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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