Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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