did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
