Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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