we'll go far in life on tits alone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
