that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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