but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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