Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
