i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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