He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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