Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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