she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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