I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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