I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
