She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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