I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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