Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
50% drunk capacity currently
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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