WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
