marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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