I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
