So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
