Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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