bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
