Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
