oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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