is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
