508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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