piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
