Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
