I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
