Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
