you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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