mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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