how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
