# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
