Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
