I wish I could punch you in the face.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
