it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
