kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
