Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
