They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
